Being Goosed ... Or should that be Fleeced in Nottingham

A couple of weeks ago we started to see flyers advertising the annual Goose Fair. This is a fair which was established around 1284 so it can be said to be well established in the calendar.  In its history it has been cancelled due to bubonic plague, war (WW1 and II to be precise) and their have been deaths at the fair in fairly recent history due to gang violence. The fair only appears to be missing Famine and then it will be associated with all four horsemen apocalypse.

I grew up in Mansfield about 14 miles from the fair and managed to never go. I am not sure why this was exactly but I don't recall ever having a huge desire to go anyway. There were very good reasons why I couldn't go. All this is by the by. My daughter expressed a desire to go. She has never been to a fair that I can recall and so why not start at the biggest one going.

We took the train from Worksop to Nottingham. Passing through such hotspots as Langwith-Whaley Thorns and Shirebrook along the way. You probably just had to be there. We hopped on to a tram at Nottingham station and went to The Forest which is where the fair has been held since 1928. Prior to this it was held in the Old Market Square. The trams are excellent and quick and efficient. In recent months I have been using trams in Sheffield on most days to get to work and it makes you wonder why some idiot got rid of them in the first place.

The fair is an explosion of gaudy flashing lights, unhealthy food and gullible idiots paying over the odds for tat.  It is possibly a microcosm for today's society packed into one small area.  My daughter got some candy floss and we walked around trying to decide where we would consent to get fleeced. We eventually found a bungee trampoline which my daughter thoroughly enjoyed.

I then said something which I deeply regret. 'Jenni would you like to go on the big wheel?' I though it would be OK it is not fast, it doesn't have flashing lights how bad could it be? We got into our metal cage and set off rising above the Nottingham skyline. The view might well be wonderful but I was in the process of crushing the metal bars in sheer terror.

I don't like heights but out of a parental wish to make my child happy I put myself through the terror. There is a self help book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. The author is an idiot. I spent five minutes of terror whilst my daughter smiled, laughed and tried to get me to look around. Then to cap it all off somebody stopped the cage at the top. We were hanging there forever and there was a breeze rocking the cage. It was then that my eye was drawn to the signs of wear and tear and to the natural sense of panic to which I feel I am perfectly entitled.

Will I go back? Probably not. It is very much a case of been there done that. The Goose Fair is just a steroid pumped version of smaller fairs.