The Joys of Travel

Many years ago there was an advertising campaign which said, if I recall correctly, 'Let the train take the strain'. Well if my trip last weekend was anything to go by I'd really rather not thank you very much.

In fact the weekend was a contrast of two train companies. My trip north was on Virgin Cross Country (amongst others). I happen to like Virgin Trains and would recommend them to anybody because the trains are modern-ish, the staff generally helpful and the journey usually relatively benign. Virgin were not helped on Friday night that their staff on the train I caught had failed to take action against the morons who had stuck their cases and luggage where they shouldn't. There was nearly a chance of us not getting on the train and the staff at Leeds Station didn't seem to care. More worrying than this was the possibility that my nine year old son might have been separated because of this crush. If that had happened I would have taken somebody's head off.

The journey was uneventful, however it felt like I was in an oven. Train carriages are airless places and I hate long journeys. Added to that the cost involved. Whatever politicians and train companies might say we are being overcharged for what we get which is generally poor service, lousy food, long journeys and staff who really don't give a monkeys about customers. The trains don't run on time. In my opinion the train fares should be coming down until we get a decent level of service.

The journey on Scotrail was pure comedy gold and I will be writing my first novel based on that short trip. If the intelligence services have trained artists as interrogators then god help us all. It was like watching a trained interrogator prise information out of their subject whilst given nothing away themselves. And as for the man with his ipod who appeared to be on another planet based on the gyrations he was making well...

But Virgin are almost at Japan-like levels of customer service compared to National Express who are really GNER by another name. In fact one member of staff was still carrying his GNER bag. He will clearly have to be sent to the salt mines for reeducation. A trip from Edinburgh - York which should take under three hours took the better part of 4 as we went South West and then back South East going to Newcastle via Carlisle. A man with his guide dog and a route map could have got there quicker.

As a taxpayer I feel that I am entitled to expect a good level of service, trains that run on time and reasonable fares. When cheap fares are advertised they are never actually available. Ladies and gentlemen we are being conned by the Government and businesses.

Off to design my own Maglev.

You Take the High Road

Well gentle reader I am just in the process of summoning up my strength to make the journey north with Tom this weekend. Given his and his team's performance last weekend it will be a little disappointing not to be there for the Rishworthians game on Sunday. I am also preparing for next week when I will be able to watch all those films I have had to put off watching because they are not suitable for children.


Jenni is taking a trip south on Monday for her first time away. Having booked my hotel room for my interview in a couple of weeks I was mildly worried that the booking was insured by AIG which in the current climate does not fill you full of hope.



So on to the films for the next seven days. All next week there are Bond films on. These are mainly showing on ITV2. The best of these is probably The World Is Not Enough which is probably the best outing for Pierce Brosnan. On Saturday afternoon there is also a showing of Live And Let Die which is probably Roger Moore's best outing in the role. Whilst I liked Brosnan in the role there was almost a sensation that it was his turn as he had been linked with the role since the dawn of time. The best thing about his tenure was Judi Dench as M. For me Connery is and always will be the best and Moore was the worst. Yes readers even Lazenby was better in my opinion. Dalton was never really given much of a chance. Daniel Craig has the potential to be the best.

Saturday night has two excellent films which are worth a look. The first is Red Dragon. This is Hollywood's second attempt to make the first Hannibal Lecter story. The original is Michael Mann's Manhunter. This film has some pros and cons. The pro in Manhunter was the performance by Brian Cox as Lecter. Arguably his performance is the most chilling portrayal of Lecter. The cons are that it is a lousy film (IMHO). Red Dragon saw the film remade with the most famous personification of Lecter by Anthony Hopkins. Now there is nothing wrong with the portrayal as far as it goes. Red Dragon is a better and more accessible film than its more lauded predecessor and the acting is fine but there is an argument that after the success of Silence of the Lambs Hollywood should have left well enough alone because this is not a patch on that film.





The other film on Saturday night is something of a hidden gem. Cop Land is a film in which Stallone is not playing some muscle bound hero beating the living daylights out of his foes. This is possibly amongst his best ever performances for that very reason. He is surrounded by some outstanding actors in Harvey Keitel, Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta. If I had to recommend only one of these films for Saturday it would be this. On Sunday night there is also a film which the critics slated but which I found stranegly enjoyable. Bulletproof Monk is one of those films which has a ludicrous plot, bad acting but is wonderful entertainment nonetheless.



Tuesday is another double header with two wonderful and contrasting films. Firstly we have Rio Grande. This is the final instalment in John Ford's Cavalry Trilogy. The on screen chemistry between John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara is there as ever. Wayne is also surrounded by his usual repertory company. This is a factor that Wayne shares with Bogart and Eastwood. All three had a group of actors who they worked with regularly and the ease with which they worked together is plain to see. It is also worth noting that the group was never a closed shop and all three brought other actors into the group. Contrast this with Hero and its cast of millions. It is a sumptuous visual feast with plenty of action. It is another film in the tradition of Crocuhing Tiger Hidden Dragon. It is well worth watching.

On Thursday there is a film on Five US called Shadow of a Doubt starring Brian Dennehy. It is one of those roles that he does so well and is probably worth a look.

There we go for another week.

News from the scrum

Greetings readers well today was a great day in the rugby career of Thomas. Today he played his first properly competitive full contact game of rugby. He played a game against the under 10s at Huddersfield last week and finished on the winning side. Training for the past few weeks has left people with the feeling that there was clear potential within the team but that they were missing something.

Well today they found it. Today Huddersfield u9's travelled to Ilkley for the first match of the season. As is usual we took two teams. Tom played in the first match which was won by 13 tries to nil. The second match was won by 3 tries to nil. The first match was just astonishing to watch and even the coach didn't know where the performance had come from.

To add to the day's events we met up with a university pal for lunch and can recommend the Ilkley Vaults pub for a Sunday lunch. I am now preparing for the trip to Scotland at the weekend.

What shall we do this week?

Well given the paucity of films on telly this week it will be a case of having to find something else to do. As regular readers will know I do not generally recommend films that I have already recommended in the last month or so. Unfortunately most of the films that are on this week in which I have an interest albeit a vague one I have either never seen and so cannot recommend or have been reviewed recently in these pages.

The only film that I can wholeheartedly recommend this week is War Games. It has dated badly largely because of the changes in geopolitics and technology. Also its two main stars have gone onto other things to varying degrees of success. This is a geek film set against the backdrop of the Cold War. I watched it recently with Tom not having watched it for many years. It like many similar films of the time such as Short Circuit, Flight of the Navigator enthral children and Tom enjoyed it.

I will be concentrating my viewing on a few programs this week. Clearly there is an awful lot of dross on television but it was ever thus the problem is that now there are more channels full of it. Tha being said there have always been gems hidden away which if you take the time to look you can find. Then there are others which you don't have to look hard for as they are rammed down your throat.

Saturday brings us Merlin which if a little tedious is nevertheless not as bad as some would have us believe. The 'purists' cry but you have messed around with the key relationships between characters. There is little or no actual evidence that any of these people existed so how do we know? There are so many versions of the MYTH that does it matter if there is another. My personal favourite has always been Excalibur by John Boorman. Also on Saturday there is Timewatch which as a history fan is usually good value for money. For me if I am interested in the period under discussion I will always watch. There is also Mind Body & Kick Ass Moves which is great if you like martial arts. There was a BBC series in the 80s called Way of the Warrior and this is just that brought up to date. I am in two minds about Blue Peter At 50 largely because I was always a bit ambivalent about the series anyway.

The BBC has managed to clash to great programmes on Sunday night. On BBC1 there is Stephen Fry in America. Ever since Billy Connolly did his World Tours I have been hoping that he would do Canada and America but to date this has not happened. Fry is an intelligent and eloquent presenter who is well known for being fascinated by America and things American. So I am looking forward to this series. Also we reach the end of James May's Big Ideas on BBC 2. This is the sort of thing that justifies the licence fee. Intelligent and witty discussion of the issues involved in the subject. These are the sort of programmes which make you wonder 'Why couldn't they have taught me at school?' When these shows are done well they are fantastic. Earlier on there is Simon Schama doing to American history what he did to British history. He is, as I understand it, using the premise of understanding the past to see into the future. Also we reach the end of the latest Charley Boorman road trip.

Monday brings us Panorama on the US elections, Amazon and The Story of Maths. Panorama can be hit and miss but the US elections are fascinating for all their faults. They make you wonder how a country that powerful can be that stupid. I have been dipping in and out of Amazon so to speak it's alright but I have to say I preferred the documentary narrated by Feargal Keane a few years ago. The Story of Maths is one for Alison. The presenter is one of those who makes the subject accessible in the mould of John Romer, Simon Schama, Michael Palin, Terry Jones etc. Also for the mathematically minded on Tuesday we High Anxieties: the Mathematics of Chaos. This one interests me as it is one of the few bits of maths that I am actually interested in.

Wednesday the only thing to recommend is Heroes. What more needs to be said?

Well that's all for now?

Greetings from a decidedly chilly Yorkshire

Well hello everybody. At the time of writing I am recovering from some mysterious ailment and Alison has now come down with it. As is the case, being a man, I have been affected far worse!! In forthcoming news I have an interview this week and another in the pipeline and have today booked my graduation gown. For regular viewers photos in one form or another will appear here so don't go away.

So for my brief film recommendations for the week. Firstly on Tuesday night we have Once Upon A Time In America. This is, so that source of knowledge Wikipedia tells me, the third in a trilogy which began with the incredibly tedious Once Upon A Time In The West and the instantly forgettable A Fistful of Dynamite. So on balance you might not be expecting much from this American gangster film. But like me you may be surprised. It is actually quite a good film with a very good cast. And here is my only plot teaser the one you would least think would turn into the psychopathic gangster type. Well worth a look.

The more sensible amongst you will be glued to Heroes for the next six months so nothing of any importance will be tolerated on a Wednesday night. Save Ourselves Save The World!!!

Thursday night has two cracking films the first is at 9pm on Film 4. It is probably Richard Gere's best film ever and almost certainly ranks as one of the finest performances by any actor in the shape of Lou Gossett Jr. An Officer and a Gentleman is a cracking film although I'm no big fan of the romantic element to it but if you set that aside you have a cracking boot camp story. The battle between Gere and Gossett is what makes the film and it is elctrifying from the first moment they meet until the moment when Gere graduates as an officer.

The other Thursday night offering is one of Hitchcock's greatest ever offerings. This is the original version of The Lady Vanishes. Now I have seen the version with Cybill Shepherd but that is not a patch on this. When Hitchcock gets it right he is great and when he doesn't it is Psycho. The version on Thursday night contains an appearance by Nigel Bruce playing largely the same character as he does in all the Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films. In common with his version of The 39 Steps and North by Northwest, definitely his best Hollywood offering) the action is paced beautifully. This is classic filmmaking performed beautifully. The cast is excellent. This is probably the best film of the week in my opinion and one not to be missed.

Friday night has one of the most pointlessly violent yet hugely enjoyable films. Under Siege 2 is the sequel to the hugely successful Under Siege. Sadly it is not as good as that offering. Largely down to the fact that the supporting cast on this occasion is not as good. Tommy Lee Jones is a hard act to follow. That being said it is still hugely entertaining fun. Seagal is never going to play Shakespeare or win an Oscar for his acting ability. That being said he does what he does extremely well. This was probably the last good film that he did and then came the tedious years of European and Hong Kong made rubbish. Give Seagal a shrieking villain and numerous henchmen to eliminate he is brilliant and give him a half decemt supporting cast and any film can be carried. This is just good friendly violent fun.

Enjoy and watch this space.