Property programs

To those of you unfamiliar with British television programming of the last twenty years or so you may not be aware of the growth of property based programs. The big ones are, or have been, Grand Designs, Location Location Location and Property Ladder.

Grand Designs should consider itself immune to my following general comments as it is about building houses, architecture and design rather than treating your house as an investment. However, the other programs encouraged two things both of which are, to me, anathema. Firstly that due to the uncertainty of financial markets due to their global nature people should see property as an investment and secondly that you should do everything in neutral colours so that potential buyers won't be offended by your taste.

I was prompted to write this particular blog after hearing an economist round on a BBC journalist and point out to him fairly bluntly that a house is not an investment it is somewhere you live. Hear hear I shouted loudly at the radio. The economist was also suggesting that there NEEDED to be an adjustment in property values of around 30% to make the market viable. As somebody potentially with a property to sell I would only be keen on every other property except mine to drop.

Location Location Location and its spin off Relocation Relocation are probably the biggest offenders. In all the years that the program has been on I can only recall one couple with a realistic budget that most ordinary members of the public could grasp. It generally features young couples who have eyewatering budgets that it is unclear how they can afford them and are just unnecessarily picky and turn down beautiful homes for no other reason than they don't like the decor. They clearly haven't the wit to realise that there is a product called paint and another called wallpaper which have been known to remedy even the worst taste.

Property Ladder which has now departed this mortal coil featured Sarah Beeny going round helping people climb the property ladder by suggesting improvements to make to purchases. Her own house is quite restrained from when I saw it on telly once. She spent most of the time rolling er eyeballs as her 'clients' ignored everything she said racked up huge debts and then were surprised to find that they couldn't make the money back. I will at this point throw in Homes Under The Hammer which focuses on the auction market and usually features buy to let investors who are the people who helped to create the property bubble and cause the crash by taking loans that they could not afford on the assumption that property values would always go up.

Other offerings are To Buy or Not To Buy which is awful, Escape to the Country which I quite like as it is something I would like to do but which baffles me and House Swap. Channel 4 and Five have other shows in the mould of Grand Designs but they are not a patch on it.

I worked in financial services and mortgages for a few years and I was appalled at the amounts of money and the types of people companies would lend money to for over priced houses. People were allowed to take mortgages on 6 or more times their income or even worse to self certify on their mortgages. Self certification works something like this you see a house you want but you either can't prove your earnings or you don't want to. You go to a provider say I can afford this mortgage and for a bit of a price hike they give it to you.

At the end of the day you pick the best house you can afford to buy for the money you either have or can borrow and make it your own. Make improvements when you can afford to do them and if you can't get it how you want it by the time you come to sell then just be prepared to negotiate a bit on the price. Property values are just as subject to market forces as the money markets and if you lose your house you could be in trouble. So gentle reader don't fall prey to the buy it, rebuild it and redesign it brigade. When you see a house see a place to live, to bring up your family and to enjoy not as your pension because it will all go in the end. If you can't afford to buy then rent it works in France and Germany. It's not ideal but if you get a good landlord you may enjoy it just as much.

Wanted down under

I have over the years occasionally managed to watch this offering which forms part of the BBC's daytime schedule. The cynic in me wonders how staged everything is and the human in me wants to throw something at the screen almost every time I watch the program.

The premise underlying the program is to give a family of Brits the opportunity to sample life in Australia or New Zealand over a week and at the end of the week the family makes a decision as to whether they will move. The program, now in its fourth series was first presented by Nadia Sawalha, the grand dame of daytime telly in the UK. The family met in either Australia House or its Kiwi equivalent and were given a choice of lifestyles and a job to go with it. The choice was from city, country and coast. Initially the family chose which avenue they would go down but lately the program makers make the decision.

The family then go and try out the country and lifestyle of their choice. The first trial is to look at property bearing in mind potential available budget from the sale of their UK property. As with any property related items most of these people seem to be able to afford exorbitantly high budgets given their actual jobs. You don't actually need to go Down Under to know that you get more for your money in property terms there. Property prices in the UK are extortionately high for what you get, largely down to the likes of Phil, Kirsty, Lucy and Martin to name but four.

In the UK a house is now seen as an investment rather than a place to live. But this is a topic for another day.

The drawback to Down Under is if you decide to come back to the frozen north. The exchange rate is not great coming back and so unless you are extremely fortunate you will not be able to afford to come back to the 'luxury' you left.

Next is trial by job. Again it is generally well known that pay may not be as good Down Under but that the payoff is in terms of work/life balance. Cost of living for some things is good for some things bad but again ultimately you weigh up the pros and cons of the venture. Lifestyle Down Under is generally better than it is in Britain with a more outdoors focus and sport and encouragement to try things.

Lastly you undergo ordeal by DVD of messages from home from people you only saw a week or so ago. Always there are tears and self interest with parents and friends saying we don't want you to go but it's your life. Almost every program features a stroppy teenager who wanders round being moody and miserable and wants to listen to The Cure in their bedroom for five years.

Is the program bad? No. The problem is the participants who do not appear have spent as much time researching all of this, which they could do without going (except the job obviously), as I do contemplating cutting my toenails (which isn't very much). I have family in New Zealand and I wouldn't dream of making a decision on such a move unless I had spent several weeks out there first. After watching the program I am generally left with the opinion that many of the participants are attention seekers who want a free jolly to Oz or NZ at the licence fee payer's expense.

Films of the week (w/e 27/08/2010)

Well out of the dross I have picked out five of the best offerings available on Freeview in the UK next week.

The Bourne Identity is the film that is credited with helping to save the James Bond franchise (at least until MGM ran out of money). If you have read the book throw it away as it bears little or no resemblance to that. As an all out action film it is terrific the camera work and direction is outstanding and Matt Damon who links to one of our other offerings this week, is excellent as the agent with amnesia. I watched it again recently on DVD and it is well worth it. The supporting cast are excellent (Brian Cox, Clive Owen to name but two). The times are on the side panel of this blog.

Sunday night we have Excalibur. I first saw this film as part of film director Alex Cox's BBC2 series Videodrome I think it was called. It is a British take on the Arthurian legend backed by American money shot in Ireland by John Boorman. At times it is breathtaking in its imagery and its acting. The stand out actors are Nicol Williamson as Merlin and Helen Mirren as Morgana. They were allegedly cast deliberately because they didn't get on following a previous film they had worked on together. Whatever the reason Williamson in particular throws himself into the role with gusto and captures the part bumbling part menacing nature of the magician. Perhaps if the BBC had shown this to the new version cast it might have improved somewhat.

Monday night is Highlander night. I shall declare an interest here. This is in my top two films of all time. I love the notion behind the whole film and frankly I don't care what reviewers say about it. Having held a claymore and exclaimed 'There can be only one' at a museum in the Highlands of Scotland I somehow feel part of it all. This film will not change your life, it will not spiritually uplift you or make you a better person but it is incredibly good fun. Sean Connery and Clancy Brown are brilliant as the mentor and the villain respectively. Also look out for a blink and you'll miss it appearance by Hugh Quarshie and Celia Imrie both of whom have done alright for themselves. The head of the NYPD investigation was in Police Squad the spoof US detective series with Leslie Nielsen and keep expecting him to freeze and everything to carry on around him. Go on and have some fun with this.

On Friday night we have two offerings. Firstly there is Team America: World Police. This little gem is from the team that brought you South Park and is a pastiche of the British series Thunderbirds. If you can't stand South Park then you won't watch this. It is one of those films that you watch and start laughing but then think should I be actually laughing at this. It is outrageously funny in parts and if you do have a sense of irony you will love it. This is the other film with a Matt Damon connection as it features a puppet of him.

Lastly we have Outbreak starring Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo and Donald Sutherland and Morgan Freeman. It is worth checking this one out as it rises above the usual dross of this type of film. Sutherland is brilliant as a general bent on covering up the outbreak of a virus at any costs. A marked contrast with his role in MASH many years previously.

The end of an era (or should that be error)

A few weeks ago I handed in my resignation in preparation for starting teacher training in a few weeks time. The timing afforded me the opportunity to spend most of the summer holidays with my kids and also to avoid the headache of having to deal with people at year end who patently had no understanding of what it was I did.

I had worked at the university for nearly ten years, the longest I have ever been in one job except for my very first job. This strategy may well turn out to be a bad idea as in twelve months time I might end up being one of the most qualified people in the unemployment queue. In my time I have come up against the entitlement culture and routinely found those that adhered most to it probably had no business being in a university as they weren't academically up to it on the evidence of their applications. They also demonstrated a distinct lack of thought and planning in any aspect of their lives and blithely assumed that just by having a pulse they should be given stuff.

I am going into teaching for a number of reasons. Firstly I think I would be good at it. Secondly I think my maverick attitude is just what the system needs. Thirdly I want to try and do my bit to change the way the kids of the future think and to put my knowledge and experience to good use. If that doesn't happen then I am going to take my qualifications and skills and go and live on a remote island somewhere possibly in a cave as that will be just about all I will be able to afford.

In Britain today, and in fact for generations, there has been a prevailing attitude that knowledge, learning and respect for the law should be scorned. Those who demonstrate these characteristics are ridiculed, bullied and humiliated. Celebrity culture is all that pervades our society and for all their protestations to the contrary many politicians and teachers have helped to foster this. My heart sinks whenever the latest A-Z list celebrity is the top item on the news because quite frankly like the majority of the populace I couldn't give a damn about their lives.

So come the revolution 'celebrities' will be the first against the wall to paraphrase the late great Douglas Adams.

So whilst I am sad to be leaving a job that I enjoyed for the most part and am also concerned that I am leaving behind security I am looking forward to the chance to spread my wings and challenge myself in a new career possibly in a new town so that I can help to give my family a better life.

Lincoln - a retrospective

Yesterday I went to Lincoln with Alison, Jenni and Alison's mum. On the drive over there we were stuck behind a moron in a 4x4 who clearly was using the force to decide what speed at which to drive as clearly they weren't reading the road signs. On arrival in Lincoln I was directed by my mother in law who was shocked to discover that the road to the car park was no longer available. The town planners in Lincoln seem to have outlawed the practice of turning right. When we found a useful left turn in which to turn around and go back to where we needed to be you weren't allowed to turn right out of there either.

The weather was good and eventually we went for lunch at the food court in the Waterside Centre. The food was excellent and the service even better. The waitress dropped one onion ring from a small bowl and brought me an entire extra bowl.

Lincoln is a quaint city with lots of quirky little shops and Steep Hill is appropriately named. On the way back my mother in law's navigating skills left something to desired particularly as we got back to Worksop. The signs said to go right at the roundabout so I moved in to that lane and my mother in law said "Where are you going?" and then criticised me for going round the island to go on the right road.

In other news today is the 30th anniversary of the release of Back In Black by AC/DC. The album, which is now the second biggest selling of all time (behind Thriller by Michael Jackson) was the band's first release since the untimely death of their lead singer Bon Scott. It is widely hailed as one of the best Rock albums of all time.

In other news tonight sees Top Gear and the new version of Sherlock Holmes. Top Gear is irreverent fun. Sherlock is written by the team behind the reboot of Dr Who (Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss). They have taken the essentials of the original Conan Doyle stories made a few adjustments (telegrams are now text messages or emails) and retold the story in the modern day. All the previews appear favourable. Traditionalists will never be happy but there is no reason why this shouldn't work. Basil Rathbone's Holmes was largely set in the 1930s and 1940s. The problems, for me, with that adaptation were the tinkering with scripts was not appropriate and also the portrayal of Watson was very poor.

One can only hope that in terms of a reboot that this is in the league of Dr Who, Batman (Christopher Nolan and the Tim Burton) and the remake of Day of the Jackal which were faithful to the originals (OK Dr Who is merely a continuation but you get my point) and not like the reboots of King Arthur (Merlin), Robin Hood, Miss Marple (the latest ITV) or The Prisoner.

If a fictional character is well written is perfectly possible to move it in time after all A Fistful of Dollars is a remake of Yojimbo. The Magnificent Seven is a remake of The Seven Samurai (those both turned out alright).

Happy watching.

The Pope's visit to England

His Holiness Pope Benedict is due to visit the UK later this year. As with the previous Pope he appears to be staying away from Northern Ireland. There is a lot of argument over who should be paying for this visit as some taxpayers money is to be used for issues such as security.

Given that the current incumbent of the Holy See has not exactly gone out of his way to make nice with people of other religions and none these costs might be justified. The Pope's actions should also be seen in the light that he was the head of the rebranded inquisition, the Office of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith.

The Bishops of England and Wales have asked the laity to stump up money to pay for the pastoral costs involved. Based on the evidence of the collection at our church this morning the laity aren't too keen on this idea. We live in tough times as we did when the previous pontiff visited these shores in 1982. However, the British arm of the Catholic church is particularly good at not paying a blind bit of notice to what its leaders want just because they ask for something. I was expecting the collection to be low due to the fact that church was barely half full this morning but I wouldn't have been surprised to see a couple of buttons in the plate when I saw how low the congregation is.

Our bishop isn't desperately popular in many parts of the Diocese for a whole variety of reasons. He has only just asked for more money from the laity to get his books straight. If he hadn't invested in the stock market so heavily he might have had more money. In our country asking for money from the congregation never goes down well. Also the laity have a lot of issues with the church hierarchy and the way it runs the church. Also the fact that the Catholic church is worth billions of pounds tends to say to people if you want to put on events you can damn well pay for them.

The Church doesn't appear to learn lessons and seems unwilling to countenance change and so the more socially militant end of the spectrum which encompasses a large proportion of western catholicism (the bit with all the money) refuses to pay. The Reverend Ian Paisley is rumoured to have once sent the collection plate back round one church saying that 'The Lord is not satisfied with your offering'. Unfortunately the clergy here are not as popular as he was with his congregation.

Singing in church

Greetings fellow travellers. This weeks rant is all about singing in church and universality. This morning when we got to church the priest came round and handed out a new version of the Gloria. I say new, I was aware of this version, but it was new to our church. Here in wonderful Cleckhuddersfaxwaite we are in the Diocese of Leeds. The bishop, I make it clear that I am not a fan of his, decreed some years ago that the Mass should be, where possible, entirely sung.

When this decree came round it was greeted with enthusiasm by the priest and deacon at the church which we attended at the time. The Bishop in his infinite wisdom decided to shut that church down and merge it into one of two 'super-parishes'. We went up the valley to the most far flung of the parishes. I was at the time in a state of flux with my faith and was on the verge of becoming a Buddhist. As it stands thanks to the priest at this far flung outpost and the attitude of the congregation there, my departure was somewhat delayed. They held the liturgy, by and large, in the same way that I had grown up with it in the 1970s and 1980s before the rise of the laity and the now ubiquitous folk group with their Czechoslovakian guitars. The liturgy was spoken and was simple.

Unfortunately due to illness, this priest was retired on health grounds and the new parish priest, yes you've guessed the one from the old church, has wasted no time in trying to drag our little corner of the parish kicking and screaming into the new world order as decreed by the bish. The beauty and simplicity of the spoken liturgy when a prayer is said and spoken with meaning has now been replaced by musicians and countless unnecessary variations on a theme.

The move to have the Mass in the vernacular following Vatican 2 meant that now unless you actually spoke the local language you struggle to follow the Mass when you go abroad. It has allowed for folk groups and other such abominations and the Mass is no longer universal and, by definition, neither is the church. Local variations now add to the confusion. In some places where you would stand in others you would kneel.

The Church would do well to consider a reconnection with its liturgical past but unfortunately that would seem to be a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has not only bolted but run out of the yard down the lane and hurdled a couple of fences.

The Catholic church has never had much of a grasp of simplicity and the beauty that comes with it. Why do you need to sing Amen seven times and not mean it when it would be better if you spoke it once and meant it with your whole heart.

In Catholic terms this 'puritanical' approach to liturgy sets me at odds with the majority of the church which is generally anything but. However, if you believe in the rightness of your cause you must stand up for it and rail against 'Colours of Day' and 'Kum Ba Yah' and Taize chants and remind everyone of the simplicity of the fact that your relationship with God is simple and all you need to do is speak with him ( or her) in simple terms and he will understand.

Go forth and find your connection with God and the universe on a simple level and remember most of the rules of the Church were created long after Jesus died and rose again and he didn't get much of a say in them. Also the church is notoriously inconsistent and slow to recognise simple facts.

Goodnight and may your God go with you.

Recent news

Well to those of the family who have asked what the hell has happened since I blogged previously in March here is an up to date edition of the family news.

Thomas is the clubman of the year at his rugby club in the u10 age group. I have subject to final clearance got a place on a PGCE to be a teacher and will be a student again from September. The only worry there is will there be jobs when I come out.

Alison came to a rugby match and didn't implode. Met up with some friends that we hadn't seen for ages.

Been to Edinburgh. Bought a cassette converter which will save me £500. Will be doing some rugby training myself in a couple of months. Carried on doing Marriage Preparation classes.

Jenni has glasses and will possibly be wearing a very fetching eye patch by the end of the week.

Got Skype and know how to use it. Found a new speccy emulator.

New government. Some quarters should see the cuts as an opportunity rather than a problem.

That about covers everything of note.

On a lighter note

I have recently started to read books and watch programs about science. At school I was average in my scientific ability but since leaving school I read books about quantum physics, watch television programs on vulcanology and astrology. This phenomenon is not restricted to science but also to things like history.

Currently I am reading Hyperspace by Dr Michio Kaku, in addition to my fiction by Eric Van Lustbader. I first discovered Dr Kaku when he presented a series called Time, on the BBC. His style delivers the subject in an enthusiastic way. This engages me on an interest level in the subject but also from a professional interest as I am about to train to be a teacher. I often ask the question about people like Dr Kaku " Why couldn't you be my teacher?". Another scientist who has this enthusiasm is Professor Brian Cox who recently presented the series Wonders of the Solar System. Series like Horizon have always gripped my interest when they are on subjects in which I have a passing interest.

In the historical field people like David Starkey, Simon Schama and John Romer have an enthusiasm for the subject which comes across through the screen.

I have even tried to read A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. I think he should stick to The Simpsons because I lost the will to live fairly quickly once I had started.

Science and history, in fact any subject, need not be boring or unapproachable if you have an enthusiasm for the subject. I hope to take some of this enthusiasm into the teaching profession

Living life to the full

At Mass this morning our priest gave a sermon about how mankind spends its time trying to accumulate wealth power and possessions in a futile attempt to stave off the ultimate outcome of this existence. He remarked on how people fear death. This particular priest is an excellent preacher, he used to be a teacher, and is usually right most of the time with his observations of the human condition.

Whenever, I listen to his sermons I always come away thinking. I am very sanguine about death this is because I have a condition that can at a moment's notice cause my death. The condition of itself is no more fatal than actually being alive, which is 100% fatal in all cases unless I haven't been paying attention recently. How has this knowledge affected my life? Do I live each moment as if it's my last?

I have to admit that I have not managed to crack the second question yet and am still searching for something. My vices are music, films and books. It might have been nice to give sex, drugs and rock n roll a proper go but when I was still young enough to appreciate them my condition held me back. I don't do drugs because I have to take them every day until the day I die. I was allowed to sample alcohol under controlled conditions and along with my medication never saw the point of getting drunk. As for rock n roll I had a passing flirtation with bass guitar more as an academic exercise than as a real attempt to play seriously.

The turning points that helped me control my condition were twofold. Firstly on a BBC science program called QED which showed a fellow sufferer who refused to let his condition master him or let anybody else tell him how he should live his life because of it. The Rev Lionel Blue described the condition as like an evil cousin who visits occasionally and causes havoc. The second turning point was a teacher at my secondary school who on discovering my condition, which he shared, advised me how to deal with it.

The condition is epilepsy and you can live a normal life with it. As long as you take reasonable steps there is no reason to let it hold you back.

Back to the point of the post. If you can live your life to the fullest and being a Catholic does not have to mean living a diminished life in search of the eternal goal that we believe in. My advice to one and all is embrace life as you only get one go at it. Death is merely part of the process. The best we can hope for is that the death is peaceful or has purpose. To my friend who is having problems at the moment all I say to you is do not go quietly into that good night.

TTFN

Shopping at Aldi

Well hello again and welcome to any new readers to my mind numbing blog. In the village where I live we used to have a supermarket. It was part of chain called Kwik Save and latterly Somerfield. To international readers, these names will no doubt be meaningless unless you have spent some time in this septic isle.

This is something of a generalisation but you always felt like you needed a shower after you came out of the store as it was grubby and generally unfriendly. I must add that this wasn't the reaction just coming out of our local emporium but of all of the ones in these chains that I ever went into. It was very much a case of stack 'em high and sell 'em cheap.

As a customer, the staff always seemed to make you feel very unwelcome. It was almost as if you were an inconvenience in the middle of their chat about what happened in last night's soap or what the latest headline was in one of those celeb magazines that are all the rage, allegedly, in this country.

Last year Somerfield were bought out by the Cooperative who already had an established network of small supermarkets. So the site of the one in our village was bought by Aldi. Aldi are one of a number of continental European supermarket chains who sell produce cheaply, avoid big brand names and who also have for sale each week a variety of quirky items. Others of the type are Lidl and Netto. I first came across Aldi a number of years ago when a PC was advertised for about half the price that was being charged anywhere else.

These outlets don't accept credit card payments but take cash and will accept some debit cards. Essentially if you've got the money they will sell their goods to you. In the current economic times this is an exceptionally sensible approach to business.

Since the Aldi has opened here in sunny Cleckhuddersfax I have been down a number of times and have made a number of startling discoveries and revelations. Firstly none of the staff from the previous owners appear to still be there. The new staff are friendly and helpful and smile. This is also the case in the other Aldi shop that I have been into. The aisle where the weeks quirky offerings are kept is a box of delights which contains things that you wouldn't expect in most supermarkets power tools (not just small but industrial sized), skiing equipment and accessories. It is actually a good deal of fun just browsing with nobody pressurising you to make a sale.

Then when you have made your purchases you go to the till and you just put your stuff back in the trolley rather than pack it at the till. The staff are quick and efficient. If memory serves me correctly, on the one occasion I went into a Lidl store (which I won't do again because I didn't like it) the staff knew the price of everything and just entered it onto the till.

If you have an Aldi near you try it you might actually enjoy the shopping experience again. But please try not to come to my shop people are discovering the pleasures of shopping there and the aisles were actually quite busy when I last went in.

Argument, media and other stuff

Well hello everyone.

I was in the chaplaincy at a university today and overheard a conversation between two students. One was a student who was now onto possibly his third course and hadn't liked any of them. Perhaps he is not destined for university and would have been happier on another path. The students were debating as to how they should argue with others about the rights and wrongs of their faith. This struck me as the wrong approach to be taking. People who don't agree with you are never going to be convinced by your position if you argue with them. A priest once delivered a sermon about taking ourselves too seriously. Many people of faith are far too quick to condemn things which they have not actually got any experience of but somebody told them they should be condemning that type of thing.

A classic example of this is Monty Python's Life of Brian. There is a classic clip of John Cleese and Michael Palin in conversation with two representatives of the Church of England. You could almost see the frustration of the two comics at the inability of their adversaries to grasp the central issue of the film which is that it isn't about Jesus. Whenever there is a debate on a matter of morals and faith the radio stations always seem to find the most extreme exponents of a particular faith. When these people are trotted out people naturally assume that all people of faith are like them, which isn't true. The point, which I will get to, is that certainty is dangerous at times. If you have the mindset that I am right and that everybody who doesn't agree with me is wrong then you are in fact part of the problem and lack a certain amount of humility. This applies to scientists as well as those of faith.

On to lighter matters. I tried The Handmaid's Tale and won't be repeating the experience, The book was slow to get going and would, in my opinion, have benefitted from a prologue explaining how we had got to where we were. In films I have watched three new films since I last posted. First is the comic book adaptation, Watchmen. The original author has, as usual, insisted that his name is nowhere near the film. It is good entertainment and if you like that sort of thing you won't be too disappointed. Next is Son of Rambow. This is a fairly gentle comedy set in the 1980s in Britain. I was expecting it to be a little more lively but as somebody who grew up in Britain in the 1980s it did resonate a bit with me. It is a wonderful little film and well worth a couple of hours of your time. Lastly as hinted in my last post I watched Seraphim Falls. It is a slow burner of a Western revenge film. Set after the Civil War in America, the film charts the pursuit of a Union Colonel played by Pierce Brosnan. The posse is led by Liam Neeson who is out for revenge over the death of his family at the hands of Brosnan's troops. The cast is littered with actors who you will go "Oh I remember him he was in....". In particular there are brief appearances from the magnificent Wes Studi and Anjelica Huston, who may or may not be playing Lucifer. Again it is worth a look.

On another issue I would like to commend Dominic Lawson's article about faith schools in the Independent on Tuesday 2nd March 2010.

Toodles

Snow and its side effects

Well the weekend has now been cancelled due to another wave of snow in sunny Huddersfield. I have now been living here for nearly 18 years and this is the first proper winter we have ever had. Yes there has been snow before but this is the first time that we have had a time when the town has ground to a halt at times. The council have not coped with it desperately well. The potholes in the road that were bad before the cold weather, and weren't being fixed, are now significantly worse. There is one road in Slaithwaite which has what I would describe as a car-killer of a pothole. The road has just totally subsided so it now resembles something from Journey to the Centre of the Earth rather than a pothole.

My concern here is that with all the potholes what unseen damage has been done to my car literally days away from its MOT. So since I am somewhat sidelined since we are not at the rugby club today I thought I would inflict some more film opinions on you. This week, as you will see from the little list on the right of your screen, I have highlighted three films for your delight and delectation. These are not necessarily the best films on those days in terms of critical acclaim but are my favourites and on some days there are other films which are well worth a look.

Today, after Gerry Adams investigates the story of Christ, Channel 4 has two films which are both worthy of attention. At about 8 there is 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, which is the sequel to the Fantastic Four. I am a comic book fan but I always felt that the FF were Marvel's equivalent to Stepford and a bit too stereotypical. This film is better than the first film, which isn't actually saying a lot, and is diverting entertainment. It is followed by one of the best action films you will see. The current governor of California goes around the jungle deforesting it and having his crack team wiped out one at a time in Predator. There is no deep pathos here, no real moral message it is just really good fun if you like violent action thrillers. This is why I have nominated it as my film for the day. Other offerings available on some of the smaller channels are Top Gun and Romancing the Stone and Black Widow all on Film 4.

On Monday, my film of the day is Highlander. It is one of my favourite films of all time and has one of the largest franchise operations in existence with 4 'sequels', 2 spin off TV series and a number of animated series as well as books. Highlander, like Predator, is no Citizen Kane but is just enjoyable fun which is what the critics, the real ones, never really seem to appreciate. There are other better films on today but few will be as original in concept as this or will be as loyally supported by the fanbase that exists. There are rumours of a remake of the film in the pipeline and fans of the original are waiting with dread at this prospect. Other offerings of note today would be The Sixth Sense, Ladyhawke (set aside the really bad soundtrack) and Working Girl.

On Tuesday, I don't have a favourite film as such. Crocodile Dundee is alright but has begun to show it's age somewhat. I strongly suggest that you avoid The War of the Roses. I went to the cinema to see it on the back of the previous collaborations of Messrs Douglas, Turner and De Vito. That is two and a half hours I will never get back. On Wednesday if you liked Highlander on Monday you can watch it again. On Thursday you will find the quirky Local Hero and the deeper Once Upon A Time in America. I lost patience with the latter and never really took too it as I am not a big fan of american gangster films.

On Friday, there are repeats of T2 and Top Gun and the very British comedy, Time Bandits which hasn't aged very well largely because of the effects. I will probably check out Seraphim Falls on BBC1 at 11.45.

Just for the information of my international readership, which I have apparently acquired. Since you don't have British TV much of the scheduling information is irrelevant but the recommendations still stand. In the UK until the 1960s we only had one TV channel and a few radio channels - all BBC. The Beeb added another in the 1960s and we got ITV. In the 1980s Channel 4 arrived and in the 1990s Channel 5( if you could get the signal). This was about the time of the cable and satellite TV boom. There are now hundreds of channels showing next to nothing that anybody wants to see. The ones that people watch are showing programs that were, in many cases, made 20 years ago. Most of my recommendations will be for terrestrial channels or on freeview (the free to air digital channels)

With films, almost all will probably be available at your local DVD rental outlet by now since it generally takes a couple of years to get on to terrestrial TV here unless your film has been backed by one of the channels (usually the BBC or Channel 4). Any TV programs I may mention probably won't be available in overseas markets but keep an eye out as you never know. Books and music recommendations are almost certainly available at Amazon or Itunes etc.

Outnumbered

On my previous post I mentioned Outnumbered. This is a BBC comedy series which I have come to enjoy about a young family. The family watched the Christmas episode and howled with laughter. They have now seen the first two series and Tom & Jenni think it is wonderful.

Jenni is definitely like Karen in many ways.

If you get a chance to see it do. Also if you can find it watch Supernova starring Rob Brydon.

Casualty & Outnumbered

Yesterday my son was visited by his best friend who was staying over for the night whilst his parents went to an opera. Only the best sort of person is allowed to visit chez nous. Alison had been watching the boys playing rugby and was concerned that the visitor nearly injured himself. I was working away at something elsewhere in the house on the laptop and Alison came up to see what I was doing.

A few minutes later Jenni appeared calmly saying that Tom had cut his fingers. I was summoned down to examine the injury as I am designated health care operative in the house on the basis that I don't faint at the first sight of blood (not even my own). Tom had cut his head on a stone and hadn't in fact damaged his fingers at all. I sent Alison off to ring the doctor to see if this was a casualty trip or a surgery trip.

The surgery said go to A&E. Tom was complaining about how useless he was and that he had ruined his friends stay. This was late afternoon so it only took 5 - 10 minutes to get to somewhere near the hospital that wasn't restricted parking or which charged for the privilege. We went in and underwent interrogation by the desk nurse who then told us to sit down. The waiting area had two televisions on both on different channels and one on so loud that it was difficult to hear the nurse call you in. At the time there were a couple of Asian ladies, two Asian gentlemen with head injuries who were being questioned at length by the police an elderly gentleman with two female companions, a young couple who came in after everybody with no apparently visible injuries but who seemed to go right to the head of the queue. An elderly lady with an injured arm was also waiting. A few moments later three young lads came in. Two clearly younger than the actual injured party who had blood streaming down his face. He had apparently fallen against a car.

After about 20 minutes of mindless tedium we got to the next circle of Casualty hell, the triage room. The nurse examined the wound and shined her pen torch on it and also into Tom's eyes. I asked what the current waiting time was so that I could estimate whether a dash for some food was possible. I was told about an hour. We then proceeded into the next circle of this hell the treatment waiting area with its childrens play area. This area was full most of the people who we had seen in the previous area were either already waiting or joined in fairly short order afterwards. In addition there were two Asian girls who had been to xray, a young girl with a Ted Baker bag whose mother eventually turned up. They may actually have been clones because the hairstyles were identical. A mother with her son who had clearly injured his foot who did a crossword from Closer magazine ( obviously intellectuals!!). A mother with her young daughter, a little later dad came to join the fun.

Periodically a dad came walking in with various children from the direction of the play area and also a fairly badly injured Asian youth whose entire posse appeared to have come with him. Doctors and nurses appeared from time to time but the queue never diminished for an hour. all of a sudden the queue rapidly started to go down.

Tom was eventually seen by a Greek doctor who smiled was pleasant and very helpful but for some reason didn't know how to use skin glue and so got a nurse to come and do it for him all the while smiling.

My concern is the lack of information. I haven't made a habit of going to A&E departments for some time now but I am almost certain that I remember there being an indicator of the current waiting time. Perhaps things could be improved if there was some kind of board indicating where you were in the queue or you were given a ticket so you could have an idea. Also there used to be comfy seats and now there are wooden monstrosities.

I hope that I don't ever have to visit again any time soon but the patient experience needs to be improved.

Snow, school closures and other mild irritants

Well Happy New Year to my reader. As you can see from my recently installed cluster map I can now see where the literally very few readers are based. As some of you may be aware this septic isle is currently in the throes of a 'Siberian blast'. I am sure that Sun readers will soon start seeing it referred to as Britain's Siberian hell assuming that they haven't already had this joy.

This current bought of wintry weather, cunningly found in the middle of WINTER ( the clue is in the name) is very reminiscent of the sort of winters I remember in that golden age of the 1970s and 80s (please note mild sense of irony). When this happens most of the rest of Europe and North America watch on in a state of bewilderment wondering what we are complaining about.

This country has to start preparing itself better and learning to be adaptable since the Gulf Stream which gives us our weather system may not last forever. In a slightly hypocritical way, I won't generally drive in snowy conditions. The public transport round here is reasonably good and nowhere is so far away that I can't walk there. So with this in mind I yesterday set off to catch the school bus which didn't turn up. So I brought back my children along with one stray and rang the school.

This morning I rang the bus company before setting off to see if the service was running. I was told that not only was it not running but that the school was shut. I had already got a back up plan in place but thought it wise to ring the school to check facts since they have only actually shut once in living memory. My son and I made it to school that day only to be told it had shut. The Deputy Head assured me that school was open and that the bus company clearly didn't know what they were talking about. So I set off with the brood and proceeded to catch 2 buses. I arrived almost at exactly the same spot as 6 years ago and was told by a departing parent that the school was shut.

I understand that a decision has to be made but why does my school have to do it at such a late stage and why do they never tell any of the radio stations early. The High School was on the shut list at 7am this morning.

The BBC has just devoted a 45 minute News Special to the snow. Lots of people standing out by roads telling everybody who is at home that there is snow and not to be out in the middle of nowhere unless necessary. I am getting tired of this broadcasting to the most stupid member of society. Intelligent people can make their own decisions and also most of the stupid people aren't going to watch a 45 minute program about snow.

Rant over for now